Winter Golf Vacations are Overrated

As we go through the brutal, cold, winter months of winter, we start to dream about how amazing our golf game will be in the coming year.  We envision how our golf game will go to the next level, where we will only have straight drives and accurate approach shots, resulting in more birdies and more pars.

But then we decide that we can’t wait for the Canadian spring to make this dream a reality.  No, we decide that we need a winter golf vacation!  We think to ourselves and within our circle of St. Marys Golf buddies: “What a great idea: Golf in the winter!?”  We begin by planning a trip to Myrtle Beach, Florida, or Mexico.  We realize that we need a new driver to hit on our golf vacation as “Santa” didn’t bring the one we requested for Christmas. We then decide we need a new golf shirt to go with a new pair of shorts from GolfTown because this is going to be the year – and why not, we should look good while doing it!  Once we figure out all the details, the hardest part becomes convincing our wives and girlfriends that this is somehow the best way to spend our ‘vacation savings’.

So we clean our clubs, pack our suitcases, and board the plane with visions of green fairways.  The first morning we already have a tee time booked and when we get to the range, we are back ‘in the moment’ or ‘in the place’ that we feel we belong.  After a few practise swings, a few range balls, and some SPF 75 sunscreen (for our blanch, white skin) we are on the first tee…and this friends, is where the breakdown occurs.  We tee up with our new Nike Sasquatch or Cleveland Launcher driver and our first drive…goes into the water.  We tee up for a second time (the first shot is declared quickly as a gimmee…it has been a couple of months since we’ve played of course), which hooks into some poor old guys’ backyard, out of bounds.  We finally putt in on the first hole for our first ‘snowman’ of the golf season (and not the kind of snowman you build out of snow fellas’).

By the end of the day, things have only got worse before they have got better.  We have lost balls to alligators, got yelled at by ‘snowbirds’ for peeing on a bush, and scored over 100 (for the first time in 10 years).  This is where the question must be posed: “And for What?”

This question is simply answered: Wait for spring!  At least you have excuses for taking a winter lie and for why you can’t hit a straight drive…it’s cold and the St. Marys Golf course just isn’t ready in April for you to break par yet...